Definitely Not Funny

Well, good news first.

Date with Circle K Girl was Amazing.  I mean, seriously incredible.  There has never been a better first date.  Ever.  In the history of mankind.

Unfortunately I'm having a hard time thinking about that because right when I got back from the date, I found that someone had broken into my apartment.

Also?  MY ROOMMATE SLEPT THROUGH THE WHOLE THING THE LOUSY DRUNK!

They didn't take anything, though.  Just trashed the place and tagged one of my walls.

And you know what the worst part was?

They didn't even spell the graffiti right.  I mean, damn, dude, if you're gonna go to the trouble at least make sure you know proper grammar.

By the way, the graffiti?  It just said 'YOUR DISGUSTING'.  Unsightly, isn't it?

My landlord is going to have kittens when he sees this.

Eh?

Where did my weekend go?  Heeeeere weekend weekend weekend.

Oh well, it's been fun.  Now I have to start on...DUN DUN DUN that paper I have due on Monday.  Shouldn't be too hard, I'll just write it with that latent telekinesis I'm sure I have by now.

Speaking of the weekend, guess who got the hot girl who works at the gas station's phone number last night?  That's right.  You all know it's me so I guess that buildup was kind of pointless, but who cares!  I got a date!

I'd better start working on my moves.  They're a little rusty since Karolyn *dogs howling, horses neighing, lighting flashing*  I'm telling you, to all the guys out there:  be careful when dating a girl whose name is misspelled twice.

Ugh!  Just got another of those stupid prank calls.

I know they're kind of hilarious, but seriously, what sort of wannabe creepydude calls someone up, dons their best raspy Christian Bale Batman voice, and just says "I see."  before hanging up the phone.  And then does this like five times a day.

I'm seriously thinking I should get a new phone number.  That's such a hassle, but I need my sleep.  Awesomness like me needs significant snoozing to run properly.

PERSONAL AWESOMENESS

WHAT HAS TWO THUMBS AND IS AWESOME AT BOWLING?

THIS GUY.

And it starts to get old

Every time.

Every time I try to get some sleep, that goddamn prank caller calls again.

I mean, he's still hilariously bad, don't get me wrong.

But I'm reeeeaaaaally getting tired of this.

I'm turning off my phone.  If anyone needs to get a hold of me, send me an email or leave a comment or something.  I'm going to get back to my nap.

Randomity

Hey new follower!  Obviously the first of many, drawn to my greatness like a moth to a flame.

Classes are over for the day, and it's Friday, so I guess we all know what that means!

That's right.  It's time..........to take a motherfuckin' nap.

Awwwwwww yeah.

And when I wake up, drunken bowling with my mates!  My pals.  My wingmen, if you will.  Shit, it's hard to keep up with a life this EXTREME, you know?  Oh well.  I persevere.  Somehow.

Time for that hardcore man nap!

Introductions

Hey there, peeps!  The name's 'D'.  Well, it's not really D, but I promise it actually starts with D.

Anyway, starting a blog because why the hell not, that's why.  You'll come to find out that I am an incredibly awesome guy.

Anyway, not much to talk about right now, despite being awesome.  I've been getting prank called, but the guy on the other end is so phenominally bad at it it's actually kind of funny.

I almost started the this paragraph with 'anyway' too.  But, seriously, off to grab some coffee with my pals.  My chums.  My homies, if you will.