Something confused me, it's true. But my actions were my own. But because I was tricked, I'm being given a choice. An option.
Xenian Catharsis asked if I really appreciated all the effort going into this. I do, now.
I'm getting the option to judge myself. To punish myself. Now that I know my mistake, the eye is letting me punish myself. I am supposed to be my own judgement.
And yeah, at first I though, what if I don't judge myself? I die anyway. Whatever it's doing...whatever it's doing is destroying me from the outside in. Wearing me down. My options are to kill myself and get a quick death, or let myself rot away until there's nothing left of me.
I'm scared. There's no one I can turn to. No one I want to drag into this. Half of the people I know here...fuck, I haven't seen any of my friends since this started. They deserted me like rats deserting a sinking ship. The only friend it feels like I ever had...
It doesn't feel fair. I had so much ahead of me. I want there to be something I can do. But there isn't.
It doesn't feel fair. Guess that's a pretty good indication that it is, right?
I deserve this.
I've always deserved this.
And pretty soon, the eye will be seeing me. For the last time.