yhw

i feel something in my body something's moving around and twisting and twisting  i don't know what's going on.

there are eyes everywhere there never aren't eyes.

just watching me.

always watching me.

the other day i woke up in my chair.  my blog was congratulating me on my new post.

except it was the xenian catharsis post.  i don't understand.  why would i send those?  i don't remember and i don't want to remember what it wants me to remember.

she doesn't return my calls anymore i guess she left me that was fast.

i guess i don't have a whole lot of luck with women, huh?

i started laughing then but it hurt.  it hurts like there's something in me, pressing against me.

twisting around in my insides.

i should go to the doctor but i'm afraid they'll find something.  something in there.  pretty fucking stupid, huh?  i guess that's me in a nutshell.  why do anything when you can coast by on someone else's money?  heh.

i laughed again that was pretty dumb of me.

oh look another eye what the fuck do you want?  it's just staring like some big jelly-filled douchebag and owe mother fucker stop that what's doing that god damnit.

i'm not going to give in, you hear me?  make me type cryptic fucking comments and rip around my insides all you fucking want.

i'm not fucking giving in.